I am approaching you in good faith, to truly try to connect with you. I hope that you can take a breath, pause, and be willing to listen.
Because here’s the thing: I agree with you. And when it comes right down to it, I understand your moral outrage. I understand being passionate about protecting the most vulnerable in society, about fighting for your rights to raise your children the way you want. I understand having a strong sense of morality. I understand all of these things. And I understand how they can be rooted in one’s faith. In and of itself, a strong sense of morality or ethics and a desire to see what you believe to be right come to pass is not a bad thing. You and I may disagree where it comes from (either from God or as a basic part of humanity that we all share), but I want to assure you that on this foundation, we are in agreement.
I also see so much injustice in the world. I see so much suffering. I see so many people who are vulnerable not receiving what they need. I even agree that one of those primary populations is children. I agree that children need to be protected, since they do not have the means to protect themselves.
I agree that children undergoing sex change operations at school is morally abhorrent. In that situation, wanting to do everything in your power to stop that from happening is an entirely appropriate response. You should be outraged about that. You should be angry about schools pressuring children to change their identities. You should be angry about kids accessing sexually explicit material, especially in elementary and middle school. I am sure there are a lot of situations I am leaving out here, but those are the ones that I can think of off the top of my head, and I believe those are enough to get my point across.
Here is my caveat though. Here is where we diverge. And here is where I am asking you to hear me out and extend some grace to me in what I hope will be a genuine conversation. I am not demanding that you agree with me. I am asking you to listen to the questions I am posing and be willing to give them some consideration.
I am addressing those of you whose political beliefs and/or opinions about what is wrong with society is rooted in religion. Even on a psychological level, there is a significant cost to being willing to ask questions and to genuinely be willing to accept an answer that is different from our starting beliefs. No one likes admitting that their opinions were able to be changed, especially when those beliefs are connected to the safety of your soul.
And when those beliefs and opinions are heavily influenced by someone we trust, such as a pastor or other religious authority, questioning those beliefs means that we are also questioning our trust in those relationships; it means questioning the person with whom we are entrusting the care of our soul. It means questioning our own ability to discern truth. There is comfort in certainty. And you may have been told that questioning is a sin or that the devil himself is the source of doubt. You may have been advised to only associate with other Christians and to only consume media with which you agree, in the interest of “being in the world but not of the world.”
Those are some of the things I was told in my church in high school. I was advised against having non-Christian friends. I was warned about going to a secular school for college. I was advised to immediately start attending one of the Christian groups on campus, such as Campus Crusade for Christ.
I understand the mental, emotional, and spiritual cost to asking questions. I have been there. The difference between you and me is that I found myself in a position where asking the questions was no longer optional. My life experience led to a place where my reality directly contradicted the spiritual instruction I had received and the teachings in which I believed. For you, this is (probably) optional. It is hard. And most people are not inclined to take on something that is both extremely difficult and could put their eternal soul at risk. I get it. Having said all that, you may wonder why I am even writing this if I understand how difficult it is.
But I believe in you. I do not think that people are inherently bad or mean. I believe that people are mostly wired toward cooperation, toward empathy, and toward wanting to protect others in their communities. I am appealing to this trait in you. I am appealing to your ability to be morally outraged and to fight for what is right.
Lastly, I believe that you already have experience in processing discomfort; at least, I hope you have. I hope that when you are told that those who do not accept Jesus as their lord and savior will spend eternity in hell (whether that be fire & brimstone or “separation from God” hell) and when there are people you love who fall into this category, that you experience grief. I hope that the idea of your loved ones suffering for eternity breaks your heart; not because I want you to suffer, but because that grief is evidence of a compassionate heart. You can do this.
So, I am not going to present you with facts that your pastor has already told you aren’t true. And I am not going to tell you every question you should ask on every subject. It was a different time, but I have been in a similar place to where you are now. I am not angry with you. But the stakes are incredibly high right now. Are you willing to risk being the reason people lose their lives?
Ask questions. I don’t mean this as a “gotcha” tactic that people use sometimes to make someone else look like an idiot. It’s a genuine request. Please. If you hear something that sounds outrageous, ask for details. I don’t mean asking your pastor “Is this true?” I mean, ask how that thing is happening. What are the actual logistics? Are the school nurses performing sex change operations on children? What are some of their names? The nurses performing these operations on children need to be held accountable, but you can’t do that if you don’t know who they are. Ask. When is it happening? Was the child instructed not to have anything to eat or drink after midnight the night before? Or are surgeons performing the surgeries? Are they doing it for free? Or is insurance covering them? Is there an office employee at the school calling the insurance companies on behalf of the children to get the surgery covered? That insurance agent and school employee need to be held accountable for HIPPA violations, since they are discussing a child’s medical records as someone who is not a parent or guardian. What are the names of these people?
Let’s also think about the medical system in general: how long did it take you to get approval for a medical procedure last time? Was it immediately? Or did you have to get referrals from your doctor, dispute denials, or jump through other hoops? Was it ultimately free, or did you have a copay and/or deductible?
Our disagreement is not about whether children should be protected. It is about the facts. We are essentially living in different realities. You are living in a world where the people you trust tell you that I do not exist. I live in a world where I exist. Those are not the same things.
If you think that asking questions is a sin, then I guess the conversation is over. But if you genuinely want to protect children (as one example), I implore you to take a leap of faith and be willing to entertain the idea, if only about one small aspect of your beliefs, that what you currently believe may not actually be God’s will.
I believe in you. You can do this.